For my baby

Dear baby that's growing inside me,
First of all, I love you. Your just a little peanut right now but I love you. I can't wait to find out if you are a boy or girl. I can't wait to name you and start buying things for you. You will be one very loved baby. You are the first grandchild on my side and the first great grandchild on my dad's side. Everyone is so thrilled that you will be joining this family. It is truly a wonderful family to come into. So much love.
I worry about you constantly. I hope and pray that you are growing healthy and strong and that I am providing you with everything you need. You made me one sick mama but that's okay. You're totally worth it. You also made me pee 9 times yesterday but that's a good thing. That means everything is working! :) You also make me want things like angel food cake and nerds candy and now that your growing inside me, I get it!! Whatever mommy wants, she gets.
That brings me to your daddy. He is absolutely wonderful. He treats your mama so well and that assures me that he will treat you well. He treats me like a queen and if you are a girl, sweet baby, you will be his princess and if you are a boy he will be so proud and so excited to show you how to me a man. He thinks that being a man is driving a truck and working out and getting dirty and working on cars and stuff but what he doesn't know is that the manliest thing about him is how much of an amazing husband he is. He bends over backwards for me. To make sure I'm happy and comfortable. He never ever talks down to me or makes fun of me. He never fails to tell me he loves me and even if he didn't tell me as much as he does, I would still know. I can see it in his eyes. They say that the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother and baby of mine, he does. He will love you so much. You will bring such joy to his heart.
I often wonder what you're doing up in heaven right now. Probably hanging out with your other siblings and my grandma and auntie. When your dad and I got sealed the spirit I felt strongest in that sealing room was the presence of our children. I know you we're there watching us be sealed for time and all eternity. I like to think that my grandma is just chatting your ear off telling you all about our family. I miss her so much and it brings me comfort to think of you and your siblings up there with her.
We have still got awhile before your arrival baby. Your not even sticking out of my belly yet! But I love you and can't wait to be your mommy and hold you and care for you and teach you and guide you. I hope I can be the best for you. Your daddy and I love you and can't wait for you to be here.
Love forever,
Mama

I LOVE you, but I don't really Like you right now...

Rob and I got married last May. It was so much fun being married!! He's my best friend and I couldn't wait for him to get home or for me to get home so we could be together!! We were always holding hands, hugging, kissing, ect... It was pure bliss!! Well all of that has come to a screeching halt! I love the guy but lately I just can't stand him! I don't let him touch me, kiss me basically come within 5 feet of me. I even sleep better by myself. It's so weird. I know it's these crazy pregnancy hormones. I just wish he could understand that. I'm ready to like my husband again.....

Fear #878,687,543,887

Okay maybe not THAT many but I have a lot of ridiculous fears that have been coming along with this pregnancy. I'll share just a few of them....if it's TMI for you, I apologize.

First one: I've now lost 12 pounds and I think my baby is eating my insides because I haven't been able to feed it enough. I know it is totally not happening but I just have this image of the tiny bean sized baby chomping away on my uterus. Crazy right? It gets better.

Second one: I'm afraid that when I "go potty" I might push the baby out. Isn't that how you're supposed to push when you're in labor? Gross I know, but still its a thought.

Third one: What if I poop when I really am in labor and pushing baby out. How disgusting would that be? I would be MORTIFIED!!!!!

Fourth one: This one is legit. There is a very strong possibility that I could be allergic to the epidural. I'm allergic to pretty much everything else. Can you imagine being in labor and then being coverd head to toe in a horrible itchy rash? I would like to go natural but we'll see. If Michelle Duggar can do it 19 times I can do it right? I'm tough! I've walked around with SEVERE cramps and migraines and no one even knew!

So those are just a FEW of my fears. I know they're very silly but come on, do you know who I am? :) All in all I just want a healthy baby.

2 months down, 7 more to come.

As I'm sure you've seen on FB, I'm preggers!! Yep!! Surprised? So are we :) Rob and I are thrilled though. I've always wanted to be a mom. Always. It's what I'm supposed to do. I just can't believe it though! I cannot believe that I am growing our child inside of me!!
I've been pretty sick though. Can you say nausea? I can! And it's not "morning sickness." It's all day long sickness. Days that I don't work are usually pretty good but when I have to get up at 6 in the morning and I'm exhausted I usually puke or want too. Also, NOTHING sounds good to me. I miss eating all the time and liking food. I've lost 5 pounds. Not good. I can't loose any more. Hopefully it wont last too much longer. Rob has been so sweet though. He just wants to be here for me and take care of me and make me happy even though I have been very very cranky. Thanks babe!
So yes, a baby is on the way. Our little family of 2 will be a family of 3!! My official due date is October 14th. The day after my birthday :)